


The concept of “fine”

by Phantomxlegend



Series: Percy Jackson one-shots :p [121]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Depictions of a Panic Attack, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Panic Attacks, Will has PTSD, Will really needs a hug, hurt will solace, kayla and austin are good siblings, solangelo, will solace angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantomxlegend/pseuds/Phantomxlegend
Summary: “Will, are you okay?” Nico asked quietly.Will licked his lips, clenching his hands, “yeah.  Yeah, of course I am.  Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”“You’re shaking,” Nico said.“It’s… it’s very cold, I’m cold.”“It’s like… 80 degrees out, and we’re surrounded by people.”—Will tries to pretend he’s fine, when he’s really the farthest thing from it.
Relationships: Kayla Knowles & Austin Lake & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: Percy Jackson one-shots :p [121]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1701808
Comments: 13
Kudos: 160





	The concept of “fine”

**Author's Note:**

> I saw the lack of Will angst and really went “yknow if you’re gonna make me do it myself I’m gonna make it HURT.”
> 
> I never give the poor boy a rest huh?
> 
> Trigger warnings! Descriptions of a panic attack so read with caution!

Will clenched his hands into fists, his vision unfocused. Campers were gathered around the dining pavilion, listening to Chiron talk about something. Will wasn’t paying attention, his heart was hammering too fast in his chest. 

He wasn’t listening. The noises around him were diluted yet loud. Like when you have your head underwater in the bath and something hits the side of the tub. It echos loudly and sharply. It hurts sometimes.

He smelled smoke. There were torches that had been set up to combat the oncoming darkness as the sun was starting to set, but there wasn’t enough to produce the smell this strong.

The sound of his knuckles popping as Will clutched his hands close to his chest seemed to echo. He stared ahead, maybe he could pretend that he was listening and when this was over, he’d slip out to the office in the infirmary to be alone.

His chest ached, and his heart was close to leaping out of his chest. The threat of tears burned his throat. He swallowed thickly, his tongue a deadweight in his mouth. 

It was like he was 12 again. Will felt vulnerable and exposed, he couldn’t tell if anyone had noticed though. If he tried to speak, he feared that he would crumble and cry.

His skin was on fire. Will tried to crack his knuckles again, they didn’t make a sound but the sensation was still there, albeit without the reward of the pop. It was a habit that at one point had annoyed almost everyone that Will talked to on a regular basis.

Kayla threw pillows at him when he did it at night.

Kayla…

Will tried to scan the crowd of heads for his half sister’s familiar copper colored hair. He couldn’t focus, everything seemed blurry. Will squeezed his hands painfully, his breathing coming in shallow gasps.

This is fine. This is fine. This is  _ fine _ .  _ This is fine. _

There was an itch on his arm, Will felt froze, unable to move. Where was Kayla? Where was Austin?

He needed to know they were safe.  _ Where were they? _

A soft touch on his elbow nearly made him jump out of his shoes. He turned, barely focusing on the dark haired shape of his boyfriend.

“Will, are you okay?” Nico asked quietly. His hand was still on Will’s arm.

Will licked his lips, clenching his hands harder, “yeah. Yeah, of course I am. Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re shaking,” Nico said, cocking his head to one side.

“It’s… it’s very cold, I’m cold,” Will considered that a good excuse. He didn’t realize he was shaking. He couldn’t feel it. Was he? The sound of blood pumping in his ears was too hard to focus around.

“It’s like… 80 degrees out, and we’re surrounded by people. Are you sick?”

Will scrubbed at his face, looking away from Nico, “no, I’m fine. Really I’m fine!” his hands hurt.

Nico didn’t believe him, it was written all over his face. How could Will be this bad at being okay? He was completely fine. Nothing was wrong, nothing was ever wrong. He was fine. 

Scanning through the crowds, he still couldn’t see Kayla or Austin. The smell of smoke burned his nose. Why couldn’t he remember why he was here? Where were his siblings? 

Nico was still looking at him with a worried look. He might’ve said something. Will didn’t hear it. Everything else was so loud. How could anyone hear Chiron over the noise?

Will ran his nails over his cheekbones. He felt unstable, his knees were like jelly.

He should get back to the infirmary. Kayla and Austin would be there. That’s why they weren’t in the crowd. They were fine. He was fine. 

This was fine.

“Will.”

His name again, it was an urgent whisper. The hand on his arm still hadn’t left, Will realized.

“What?” Will squeaked, turning back to Nico.

“You look like you’re panicking.”

Nico had seen him in the nights, awake and crying from nightmares. Absolutely terrified of going back to sleep. Will has seen Nico like that just as well.

Will dug his nails into the side of his hands. The world was spinning. He was fine.

Where were Kayla and Austin?

“I think I should… uh…. Maybe…” Will licked his lips, removing Nico’s hand off his arm, he started to weave through the crowd, his vision tunneling, “infirmary…” he could only hear his heart pounding. His brain may as well have been full of helium.

He kept his hands clutched to his chest. Just barely under his fingers he could feel the rapid flutter of his heartbeats. Each step seemed impossible. People moved out of the way to let him pass. 

Just as he exited the crowd of gathered demigods, Will blinked and Nico was somehow in front of him now.

“Will, hey,” Nico’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern. He held his hands out in front of himself in a placating gesture, “love, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine…” Will insisted, his brain was starting to shut down. Talking was hard, his tongue felt like lead.

“You’re very much not fine,” Nico said. He didn’t touch Will. Will didn’t say anything. He shook his head, covering his mouth with one hand.

He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. Tasting blood. 

He had to check the infirmary, that would be the most obvious place that his siblings would be. They would be there. They  _ had _ to be there. 

“Infirmary…” Will forced out, his voice strained. Everything hurt. He couldn’t breathe. 

It was like something sitting on his chest, making him gasp every time he tried to take a breath.

Maybe Nico understood Will’s urgency. He nodded and took hold of one of Will’s (very sweaty) hands. Will let him.

Nico would help. He could trust Nico.

“Kayla… Austin…” Will gasped out, clenching his jaw. His siblings had to be okay. Of course they would be. There hadn’t been any recent wars…

He still smelled smoke. Ash was coating his hands. 

“Will, do you think you can make it to your cabin by yourself? I’ll go find Kayla and Austin,” Nico spoke quietly, he rubbed the back of Will’s knuckles gently. Will licked his lips and nodded slowly.

“Cabin?”

“Yeah, cabin seven.”

“Okay…” Will whispered.

Nico nodded and let go of Will’s hand, disappearing back into the crowd. Will ran his fingers frantically through his hair. His knees almost gave out as he started the slow walk to his own cabin.

Nico would find them. They were fine. Nico would find them…

Nico was the son of Hades… he’d  _ find them _ …

Will tripped on the porch stairs to his cabin, making a choking sound from the back of his throat. 

They were alive. Of course they were alive. 

Will stayed on his hands and knees for a while, his chest heaving, his stomach did dangerous flips.

Nico would find them alive. He had to. 

Why was there a meeting called?

What was Chiron talking about?

Will let out a dry sob, covering his mouth with one hand.

Eventually, after what felt like an hour, Will managed to pull himself up and blindly stumble into the cabin. He missed his bunk and curled up onto the floor, his knees up to his chest. Back pressed against the foot of his bed. He covered his ears with his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

Everything smelled like smoke. The burning of shouds after someone died.

Campers were gathered. Chiron rarely called camp wide meetings. Funerals have been rare lately. But they still could happen. 

_ Why _ couldn’t he find his siblings?

Will grit his teeth, gasping and sobbing. He could feel himself shaking now. If he tried to get up again, if there was another attack he wouldn’t be able to stand. He was shaking too much. He was too weak. He wouldn’t be able to help people.

That was his job. He was a healer.

Over the roar of his own thoughts and his rapid heartbeat, he heard the cabin door creak open. He was frozen, he couldn’t move to look up who it was.

“Oh gods, Will, hey, hey,” a figure crouched down in front of Will’s curled up form. A hand rested on his foot.

“Will, you’re okay, I’m okay, see.”

Barely, Will peeked up over his knees. Kayla was crouched in front of him, her expression soft, eyes filled with worry. Austin was sitting on the floor next to her.

“We’re right here,” Austin agreed, his brown eyes glistening.

Will sobbed, reaching out and taking Kayla’s hand, which was the closest one in proximity. Austin offered his and Will took that one as well. 

“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” he muttered over and over, his throat sore. He squeezed their hands. His entire body was shaking so badly it was starting to hurt. 

All his muscles were sore. 

“We’re right here, we’re not going anywhere,” Kayla whispered, brushing some of Will’s bangs out of his face. 

“You’re okay, Will,” Austin said. 

Will choked and hiccuped, wishing the smell of smoke would leave. He was so tired. He was so scared. His siblings were here. He could see them. Their hands were warm, but not uncomfortably so.

He tugged on their hands, slowly unfolding his legs from his chest. They seemed to know what he wanted.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Will whispered. Pressing his face into Austin’s shoulder. Kayla wrapped her arm around Will’s shoulders. 

“You don’t need to be sorry.”

It was Kayla that said that, but Austin hummed in agreement.

Will whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. He held onto both his siblings. 

They were alive. He was fine.

Will’s chest ached and his mouth was dry. Exhaustion seeped into his bones. He was practically a dead weight at this point. 

Panting and barely awake, he dropped his hands back to his sides.

“Are you okay?” Kayla asked softly. Will shrugged listlessly.

“What triggered it?” Was the next question. From Austin.

Again, another shrug. Will didn’t know.

“‘M gonna sleep 14 hours,” Will mumbled, still not moving from the embrace.

“That sounds like a plan,” Kayla was the first to break the hug. She stood up slowly and helped pull Will to his feet. He swayed, holding onto her hand.

Austin uses the bedpost to push himself up. 

Will barely climbed over the foot of the bed, collapsing face first into his pillow. It was like a vacuum sucked all the energy from him.

“Do you want us to stay here?” Kayla asked.

“You don’t have to…” Will felt his cheeks flush from shame. It was a childish fear and he had brought his siblings into it. He didn’t want them to know that he was so much more useless than they thought.

“I’ll stay for a while until you fall asleep,” Kayla promised, sitting down on her own bunk right next to Will’s. 

“I’ll be in the infirmary,” Austin said.

“Okay…” Will rolled over to his side, “thanks you guys… really…”

“You’re our brother and we love you,” Austin said firmly, “we know you’ve been struggling so… just…”

“Please, come talk to us sometimes… when it gets hard,” Kayla finished for Austin.

Will closed his eyes and sighed, “I’ll try.”

Austin nodded, he seemed to expect that answer, “well goodnight you two.”

“Night,” Will muttered, which was echoed by Kayla. 

Will physically could not have fallen asleep faster than he did as soon as the door was shut behind Austin.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so tired. The ending is crappy because I didn’t know how to do it and all I want is to sleep.
> 
> “I’ll sleep at a reasonable time.” Me writing a fanfic at 1 am
> 
> I hope this isn’t crap. I tried to do good pacing and descriptions but idk. Thanks for reading I’m going to bed.


End file.
